


Dentist Effect(s)

by Resmiranda



Series: ME Dentist AU [1]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: (and my crappy titles), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheesy Flirtation, Cutesy, Dentist!Shepard, Dentistry, Does this count as hurt comfort?, Fluff, I'm going with yes, Just humor me okay?, M/M, Patient!Kaidan, Post-Reaper War, This is the most disgustingly self-indulgent thing I've ever written, You can disagree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 06:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11526894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resmiranda/pseuds/Resmiranda
Summary: Kaidan's never had to fight off a boner at the dentist before. Then again, his dentist has never been this hot before.





	Dentist Effect(s)

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I'm posting this.
> 
> Just FYI, this is mostly canon-verse except Anderson and Kaidan more or less functioned as Shepard, and Shepard was in the reserve force, basically. Since Shepard wasn't on the front lines, Kaidan became the first human Spectre. Some crew members are a part of the dentistry team instead. That's probably all the context you need. This is 100% indulgent fluff that nobody asked for but I wrote anyway.
> 
> If depictions of dentistry bother you, probably skip this one.
> 
> Un-beta'd, so please tell me if you find errors so I can embarrass myself slightly less.

“ _Mmph!”_ Kaidan’s muffled cry as he bit into his burger—the first one he’s had in _months_ —startled the marine across from him.

“Major? Are you alright?” Despite serving on the same ship and being pretty good friends, Lieutenant James Vega always deferred to rank when he was concerned. Rank when he was concerned, and ridiculous nicknames the rest of the time.

Kaidan was cradling the right side of his face, eyes scrunched in pain. It took him a few moments to swallow and respond.

“Yeah.” His voice sounded hoarse. He put down the burger still clutched in his left hand. “Pretty sure I have a cavity, but I keep forgetting to avoid the area when I chew.” He probed the sore tooth with his tongue, rewarding him with another sharp pain that settled into an ache.

“Really? I find that hard to buy, Azul. I’ve seen your nightly routine.”

Kaidan chuckled, picking up his burger and braving another bite. He chewed very carefully and swallowed before replying. “That’s more out of necessity than fastidiousness. I’ve always been prone to cavities, no matter what I do. Just unlucky, I guess.”

“Shit, you’d think you’d have used up all your bad luck, what with…” he trailed off seemingly realizing any end to that sentence would land him nowhere good. “Uh, yeah. That blows.”

Kaidan’s wary-eyed glared vanished and he settled back into the relaxed demeanor James was used to seeing. The man shrugged. “It’s more of an inconvenience than anything. I’m used to medical procedures. I’m just grateful I live in a time where they’re capable of repairing the bone instead of slapping some cement over the holes and calling it good.”

James shuddered a little. “Yeah, no kidding. It’s when I think about stuff like that that I kind of can’t blame Buggy for calling us primitives.”

Kaidan nodded solemnly. “Yeah, it gets pretty dark if you go back far enough. I don’t know, though. I think about well-meaning doctors scrambling people’s frontal lobes and then groups like Cerberus, where a lot of well-meaning professionals end up contributing to horrible experiments, and I wonder if we’ve really come so far.”

Vega just stared at Kaidan for a moment before downing the last bit of his burger and starting to clean up. “Damn, Major, it’s too early for that kind of philosophical stuff.”

Kaidan glanced at the bustling lunch crowd and raised one eyebrow. “Is it ever late enough for you, Vega?”

The lieutenant glared at him, but wisely kept his mouth shut. For once.

Kaidan chuckled to himself as James retreated and took another bite of his meal, and instantly stifled a groan as pain lanced up his skull. He needed to make an appointment soon.

<*>

“Spectre Alenko?”

If there was one thing Kaidan could be grateful to the Alliance for post-war, it was their devotion to providing excellent medical care for their soldiers. With the amount of life tasks that had been put on hold during the Reaper invasion, he fully expected the waiting line for something like a dentist appointment to be backed out a couple of months. Much to his relief, however, they’d found a spot for him the next week, and he could finally get this toothache—which had become a near-constant throb since his meal with Vega—taken care of.

Kaidan rose and strode over to the pretty red-haired woman who had called his name. He glanced at the embroidered name on her scrubs— _Chambers_.

“How are you doing today, sir?”

“Not too bad. Yourself?”

“I’m great,” she answered with a small smile, ushering him into a room. “Take a seat there and we’ll get a scan of your mouth, and then I’ll let Dr. Shepard know you’re ready, okay?”

Kaidan hummed his agreement and let her take the scans she needed without a fuss. He’d been through this enough that nerves were a thing of the past. Ms. Chambers transferred her data to the terminal in the back corner, and then promised him the dentist would be in shortly.

He focused on the easy piano music playing overhead and tried to keep himself from prodding his sore tooth with his tongue.

He wasn’t kept waiting very long. About halfway through the second song, a man in a telltale white coat—that Kaidan couldn’t help but notice was _very_ handsome—entered the room with a professional smile on his face.

“Spectre Alenko,” he offered him a firm handshake as he plopped down on the stool next to his chair and in front of the terminal, though he didn’t pay it any mind just yet. _Good Lord the man has blue eyes._ “Or would you prefer ‘Major’?”

It took Kaidan a second to process the question. “Either is fine.”

He shot Kaidan a quick smile. “I’m Dr. Shepard. My chart said you’re concerned you may have a cavity?”

Kaidan nodded. “Yes, sir. Pretty certain.” His tongue automatically sought out the ache.

Dr. Shepard gave him a knowing look. “Not the first time, I take it?”

Kaidan almost laughed. “No, sir. I’m prone to them. And, well, between the Collector attacks and Reaper War and all I may have missed one or two checkups.”

“No need for the formality, Spectre. Shepard is fine.” He reached over and tapped something on the terminal, giving a rather disapproving hum. “Yeah, it looks like your last cleaning was over a year ago. But that’s understandable. You saw some action.” It wasn’t a question, which meant he knew who he was. Unsurprising. His anonymity was destroyed the second he became the first human Spectre. Shepard tapped something else, and a series of images of Kaidan’s teeth appeared. The tooth that had been bothering him was highlighted.

“Yeah,” Kaidan replied softly, his heart squeezing a little tighter.

Shepard glanced over and offered him an empathetic look. “London was something else, wasn’t it?” he asked, just as quietly.

That took Kaidan by surprise. “You were there?” Shepard nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“All hands on deck,” he explained succinctly.

An inexplicable sense of camaraderie washed over Kaidan, and he relaxed into the sense of ease that came with it. That was as good a reason as any to explain the feeling of comfortable familiarity he got being in Shepard’s presence. There was just something about the man…

And it didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes.

Shepard rolled over to him and placed one warm hand on his shoulder. “Alright, Spectre. Mind if I take a look now?”

Kaidan silently opened his mouth and Shepard quickly snapped on a pair of gloves, slipped on a mask, and tilted his chair back.

Strong, sure, fingers gently gripped his jaw and Kaidan quickly occupied his mind with reciting Alliance regulations to distract himself from the part of his brain that wanted to imagine that touch happening in other, more intimate settings.

 _It’s really been too long since I’ve been with someone if I’m starting to fetishize my dentist_ , he thought ruefully.

All thoughts quickly flew out of his head as Shepard found the mark and he couldn’t stop himself from flinching.

“That’s the one?”

“Uh-huh,” Kaidan vocalized around the dentist’s tools.

A few more moments of very careful examination of the affected area with minimal pain had Kaidan relaxing the tension in his shoulders. Kaidan knew experience when he saw it, and he implicitly trusted Dr. Shepard to not hurt him.

“Definitely a cavity,” he confirmed with a sympathetic glance. "Pretty deep, but I should be able to patch you up fine. Unfortunately, that means will need to pull out the big guns for this one.”

Kaidan grimaced, but he had expected nothing less. The drill and him were practically old friends by now. “Yeah, I figured,” he said, resigned.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been told I have gentle hands.” Shepard wiggled his fingers a little and Kaidan barked out a short, surprised laugh. Something in his gut fluttered and he immediately quelled it. There were too many dental innuendos that could be made and he did _not_ want a hard on right now.

Dr. Shepard tugged down his mask, stood up, and punched a couple things into the haptic interface of the terminal. A moment later there was a click and Shepard walked around behind him, returning on his other side with an array of instruments.

“You take gas, Spectre?”

“Please, Kaidan is fine,” he found himself saying before he could think better of it. He ignored the heat in his ears and went on, “No thank you on the gas.”

Shepard smiled at him again as he resettled himself. “I don’t much care for it either. It says here you’re a biotic?”

“Yeah. Docs usually have a hard time keeping me numb.”

Shepard nodded, “Yeah, I get that.” He tapped again at the terminal.

The wording of that response peaked Kaidan’s interest. “You’re… a biotic, too?”

Dr. Shepard graced him with another quirk of his lips as he got up and came back with a small tray of syringes. His least favorite part.

“Yeah. Vanguard class.”

 _That_ raised Kaidan’s eyebrows. He was rewarded with a hearty laugh that had Shepard’s blue eyes twinkling.

“I know. No one believes me, but it’s true.”

Kaidan had both seen and heard stories about Vanguards and he’d never known them to have such a light touch. Or to be anything other than field soldiers. They were more like bulls in china stores than anything. Shepard… he had more of an artist’s touch.

The dentist seemed to read his mind.

“Want to know my secret?” He barely paused before going on. “Model ships.”

“Model ships?”

“Building them is my hobby. It takes steady precision and a light touch.”

Kaidan could see that. He knew it from experience. He smiled. “No kidding. I build them, too.”

Shepard looked intrigued, but instead of inquiring further he said, “It’s nice to meet a fellow collector. Not too many that I run into.” He pulled his mask back up and his friendly demeanor shifted into something more professional. “Now, need me to refresh you on the procedure before we get started?”

Kaidan shook his head. “No. It’s been a while, but I’m plenty familiar with it.”

Shepard tilted his chair back a little more and adjusted the light. “You know the drill?”

Kaidan couldn’t see it, but he could tell the man was grinning behind his mask. He groaned.

“That joke was more painful than what you’re about to do to me.”

Shepard chuckled, a low, throaty thing that had Kaidan reciting Alliance regulations once more.

“I’ll try to make that true. Open.”

The polite command had Kaidan giving up on regulations and focusing on the thought of the needle instead. He was plenty used to getting poked, but injections in the gum were his least favorite.

Dr. Shepard dried the area and rubbed a bit of numbing gel on his gums. After a minute he reached over and grabbed one of the syringes.

“Slight pinch.”

Kaidan felt the muted bite of the needle and endured the slow injection.

“One more.”

This one on the other side of the tooth. He stared up into the lights overhead and realized no one at this place had offered him sunglasses. Not that he minded, but it seemed like they always offered sunglasses at these places.

Shepard read his mind again. Or maybe just saw him squinting.

“Sorry about not giving you sunglasses. They’ve been surprisingly hard to come by after the war.”

“That’s okay,” Kaidan slurred, the right half of his upper lip already feeling dead.

“How’re you doing?”

Kaidan started to pronounce fine, but when his lips wouldn’t cooperate, went with, “Good.”

“Great. You okay with a drone on suction? I can try to grab an assistant, if not. We’re just a little understaffed right now,” he explained apologetically.

“No problem,” Kaidan mumbled, just now noticing a drone hovering over Shepard shoulder.

“We’re low on biotic numbing agents, too, so I’m using the regular stuff and am going to try to work quickly. Let me know if you feel any discomfort, okay?”

Kaidan nodded once and opened up his mouth again. Shepard tapped at the tooth with one of his instruments and when Kaidan affirmed there was no pain, picked up the drill.

Kaidan felt the moment the drill bit into his tooth. It didn’t hurt, but he could feel the pressure of it. Shepard didn’t try to make small talk, which he was grateful for.

Around what Kaidan figured was the halfway point, a small spark of pain broke through. He ignored it, really just wanting to get the damn thing over with. Another lance of pain flared brighter, turning into a throb he could feel all the way up to his eyeball. Still, he stayed quiet.

The drill turned off. He nearly slumped in relief.

“Kaidan.”

The sudden use of his name had his spine straightening instantly, a soldier responding to an officer’s rebuke. He hesitantly met Dr. Shepard’s eyes, and found them devoid of all the earlier mirth.

“I told you to let me know if you were in pain.”

“I’m not—” he automatically started to deny.

“You’re white-knuckling the armrests.” Kaidan relaxed his fingers on impulse. Shepard was right—he’d been clutching them in a death-grip. Shepard’s eyes softened, as did his voice. “You don’t have to tough anything out here, soldier. Let me numb you up again.”

Kaidan, feeling thoroughly chagrined, obeyed and let the dentist stick him a few more times. Shepard finished his work with the first drill and picked up another one.

“Still okay?”

Kaidan was starting to regain a little bit of feeling, but the pain was still pretty dull, so he nodded. Shepard turned on the low-speed drill and methodically worked on him. Kaidan could feel the vibrations travel up his cheek. Just when the pain began to swell again and he was about to say something, Dr. Shepard turned the drill off.

“There. Hard part’s over.” His eyes were dancing with good humor as he dismissed the drone and picked up his own suction tool, attentively removing excess water and debris. “A few minutes with the bone-growth stimulator and you’ll be good as new. Just give me a minute to download the correct mold.”

Kaidan took the time to appreciate Dr. Shepard in profile, strong features highlighted by the light of the haptic interface. As silly as it was, he was kind of disappointed the appointment was almost over. Kaidan didn’t hit it off with people easily, but he felt like he and Shepard could be pretty good friends if given the opportunity.

He ignored the traitorous voice in the back of his head sarcastically repeating _friends._

“Alright. Open again.” Kaidan hadn’t even noticed the man come back over, but there he was, bone stimulator in hand. Kaidan opened for him and Shepard carefully situated the device over the tooth he’d been working on. Kaidan went back to staring at the lights as the stimulator got to work, familiar with the tingling ache as the remaining healthy bone regenerated.

“Have you ever thought about getting a Cision Pro-Mark IV?” Shepard asked a few minutes later, as he removed the stimulator and checked over the tooth again. “It uses tiny mass effect fields to break up plaque. It might save you a few of these experiences.”

Kaidan’s lip still wasn’t cooperating fully, but he ignored how stupid he sounded and replied as soon at Shepard’s fingers were out of his mouth. “I don’t know. Spending thousands of credits on a toothbrush always seemed extravagant. I’m not hurting for money, but I’m not rolling in it either.”

Shepard shrugged, indifferent. “Something to think about.” He gripped Kaidan’s jaw in that gentle hold once more. “Close,” he instructed, examining Kaidan’s bite. “And open.” He poked around in his mouth a little more, grateful when nothing else felt sensitive.

Shepard pulled down his mask and smiled at him again. “Everything looks good, Kaidan. You have beautiful teeth. How are you feeling?”

Kaidan did his best to not get caught up on the word _beautiful_ and answer. “Lip is still a little funny, but good.” Kaidan ran his tongue over the tooth, smooth and a little tender, but not painful. “You do good work, doc.”

“I told you I had gentle hands.”

That playful glint was back, and Kaidan’s heart tripped over itself. _Is he flirting with me?_

Kaidan played off how flustered he felt with a chuckle. “That you did.”

He caught Shepard’s eyes and held them, the contact lingering just a _little_ too long. Kaidan spoke on impulse.

“Say, there’s not any rule that says you can’t be friends with your dentist, is there?” Kaidan asked as casually as he could. He fought the urge to cringe at the way his consonants were still coming out slightly muffled.

Dr. Shepard smiled a little. Kaidan quashed the small flip his heart gave. “Well, dual relationships are not encouraged between providers and their patients. But if you’re comfortable being transferred to someone else’s care and wanted to, say, grab a beer and watch the biotiball playoffs next week, I don’t think there’d be any harm in that.” Shepard’s smile had transformed into a crooked grin.

 _Friendship_ , Kaidan forcefully repeated in his head.

“Well, if your colleagues are half as good as you are, I’d say I’m in good hands.”

Shepard’s grin turned sly. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Spectre.” He peeled off his gloves, tossing them in a bin. “I’ll set you up with someone good. Really, I’d recommend anyone here. Except maybe Dr. Urdnot. He’s efficient, but known for being a bit… rough.”

Kaidan didn’t miss the once-over Shepard gave him, and now he _really_ needed to get out of here before he voiced that comment in the back of his head about maybe liking it a bit rough. He stood up and tugged his jacket on quickly, grateful it was a little on the longer side.

“I’ll trust your judgement.”

“Then let’s go schedule a cleaning, shall we?” Shepard smiled at him again, holding one arm out to let him go through the doorway first.

Just as they got in sight of the counter, Dr. Shepard stopped and presented him with a business card. He flipped it between his fingers to show him the back, where there was a series of hand-scrawled numbers. “This is my omni-tool number. Let me know if you’re still interested in grabbing that beer.”

Butterflies danced in Kaidan’s stomach as he accepted the holo-card. He grinned, and was pleased to find it didn’t feel lopsided anymore. His voice was clear.

“Definitely.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to talk to me here or on my [Tumblr](http://resmiranda13.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
